Doing The Impossible: Finishing a game of Civilization VI

We've all been there before, it's a rainy evening, you and your pals are in discord, not much conversation is happening and you're all relaxing together, yet independently. Suddenly, a friend pipes up an all too familiar phrase.

"Game of Civ anyone?"

I think back on the plethora of half finished games we gave up on over the months. The wasted hours that follow starting a game you know you'll never finish. How futile your attempt at winning will be because a conclusion will simply never be reached.

"Yeah sure, sounds like a good plan!" I respond.

---

As per my usual higher level of thinking, I pick a civilization based almost entirely by the colour and how little reading needs to be done to understand their bonuses. This time Queen Wilhemina, The Dutch Queen, was my choice.

Teddy Roosevelt, specifically Rough Rider Teddy is picked by one of my friends. While King Robert The Bruce of Scotland is my other friend's selection.

Let the game begin.

---

It starts fairly plainly, the early game of civ is something that i'm sure is filled with risky decision making and planning many, many turns in advance however, I am not that good at the game. I had decided a cultural victory would be ideal for me based off my civ's inherent bonuses to culture through trade routes with other players. Coupled with the fact that I am dreadful at building and fighting with an army, it felt like a good route to go down.

So I start making allies. The AI civs, while they try their best, are dumb. After giving Canada enough bottles of wine I went from hated to loved even as their army marched towards my borders, presumably just how real world politics occurs as well.

At this point I had met Scotland. We were relatively close, with Khmer splitting us up however, that wouldn't last long as King Robert near enough wiped them out in a long, one-sided war. Great for me! I could further improve a cultural alliance that I'd set up with him.

---

As we were approaching the mid game, everything was coming up Dutch. I'd just come off the back of a heroic age that allowed my culture and tourism to boom, my cities were all improving well and getting their own unique wonders all while I was drowning in great writers.

All was peaceful in the Dutch kingdom, until Teddy's navy and platoon of rough riders appeared out of the misty haze. My friend was completely silent, all I heard was a cacophony of explosions as both my cities were reduced to nothing but ruins and stroopwafel.

"Should've built walls" my friend smugly says, seemingly roleplaying America in all regards at this point.

He's right, I should've, but the anger still lingered. Fortunately due to my friendships with most the world, nearly every civilization in our game went to war with him after that. Unfortunately, none of them stood a chance against the overwhelming forces of rough riders at Teddy's disposal.

---

We're hitting late game at this point and while I'm shocked this match is even still going on, I start the Dutch rebuilding process. As I'm doing this, Scotland is also viciously attacked by the Americans however, my Scottish friend doesn't seem too phased by it, I learn he's quietly seeking a science victory after he not so subtely asks for advice on the topic.

I'm not worried, a victory for Scotland is a victory for the Dutch and vice versa, we were allies united by our shared hatred of a common foe; America.

I settle a city on the same continent as America, planning to make use of my newly purchasable rock bands, sending them throughout the world, giving me huge boosts to tourism in the process. I quickly began to culturally dominate other civs as soon as my rock bands started to tour.

Rainbow Snake, a rock band that had managed to tour the globe without retiring boosted my tourism so much I suddenly found myself in a position to win the game in a staggering 7 turns! I relay this info to my other friends out of excitement, leading to good 'ol America informing me that nukes are being developed and I will be expunged from the earth in 10 turns.

"Well this will be easy, I win in 7!" I think to myself, hitting next turn. I check my turns till victory counter, 10 turns.

Oh dear.

I knew the nukes would get to me by sea so I syphon a huge amount of funds to Scotland in the hope they can develop a navy capable of stalling the American powerhouse long enough for me to win. I'm sending rock band after rock band to every civ in the game, frantically making them play in everywhere from The Colloseum to tiny aquariams.

The Incan's, an AI civ and major cultural roadblock, ban rock bands from entering their borders.

OH DEAR.

Tourism is still building up though, Rainbow Snake enters American borders once more and starts playing any where possible. I dominate more civs culturally, turns till victory count goes down to 5. I die in 6 turns.

Scotland's navy is building up well, the next issue is if they'd be able to maneuver to defend quick enough. America is just taunting me and it's working because my stress level is through the roof during these final turns.

Then, out of nowhere...

1 turn till victory! I stay quiet, hoping that I survive, continuing my normal rock band business. I end my turn.

An achievement pops, a cutscene starts. I won.

---

As the cutscene showcasing my victory was playing, my friend playing America said I would've been dead in 2 turns.

Not even close if you ask me, all skill...

I managed to culturally dominate the world just before I was nuked out of existence, and more importantly, we actually finished a game of Civilization VI, something no mere mortals can achieve.

The Dutch Queen Wilhelmina had done it. Besting Teddy's naval forces and diabolical army of rough riders after 11 hours of play. The Queen thanks The King of Scotland, Robert The Bruce for his invaluable help. May our alliance prosper ever further.